Adrienne Metternich

Pain level - High

Well, I managed to survive yesterday. I can get out of bed today. My joints and muscles all ache, but I'm not coughing and my throat isn't as rough this morning, so I'm not sure whether to take all that as a positive sign or just a neutral sign. I felt progressively worse as the day went on, too, getting really tired really easily.

I think I made the right decision yesterday, devoting the energy I had to making a lot of food that I can reheat and eat easily for a while.

Plus plenty of books to read if I can't get out of bed. Heck, I have my bedroom set up so that there's a small TV and my PS4 on top of my dresser, which is in arm's reach of my bed even when I'm lying down, so if I want to watch TV or play video games I can do that too. Easy access to just about everything, and I'd only need to get up to take care of the cats, to eat, and to take care of various other, erm, necessities.

Bathroom breaks, is what I'm saying. Bathroom breaks.

 Pain level - Moderate

I woke up feeling fine this morning, but the longer the day went on, the worse I felt. A headache crept up on me, and I started feeling queasy. So I spent most of the day lying in bed, alternately reading and just lying there quietly until my head felt good enough to let me read a little again. So, not the best day ever, but at least I coped. Sometimes, that's all we can really ask for.

The Piper (2024) - A woman struggles to reconstruct a half-destroyed concerto for her orchestra, and that concerto is so very cursed! Anyone who hears the melody can't get it out of their head, and if the person who hears the song is a child, then they mysteriously go missing. The woman, as well as her Hard-of-Hearing daughter, have to stop the orchestra from playing the concerto before it's too late. This movie is equal parts a twist on the Pied Piper of Hamelin story and also the Danse Macabre urban legend, and I love that combination! I was surprised at just how much I ended up enjoying this movie. Good performances, good story, and great music! (Youtube: trailer)

KKN di Desa Penari (2022) - A group of students travel to a remote village as part of a community service project. While there, they fall prey to a dark part of the village's customs, secrets, and the spirits that wander the forest at night. This is a long movie, almost 3 hours long, though it had a mid-credits scene that was more of an unrelated short film, so it pads out the runtime. I'm getting more comfortable with a lot of the vibe in Indonesian horror, so even though this movie had some unfamiliar religious elements, it didn't detract from my experience watching the movie and appreciating the story. I also often enjoy this sort of fish-out-of-water story, where people enter an unfamiliar environment and have to adapt, even when what they have to adapt to is scary and strange. And the village's history with the Dancer, Dawuh, and the lengths they go to protect their people from her malign influence while still honouring her, was really interesting. If you're into Indonesian horror or are prepped for a long foreign horror film, then this one is worth a shot. (Youtube: trailer)

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) - I mean, it's Five Nights at Freddy's. I've watched it before, but I felt like watching it again because sometimes a familiar fluff movie is nice. It's not scary, at least not to me, but I love the lore of the franchise, and sometimes I like rewatching things with deep lore to see if anything new makes sense, or if a certain theory fits with the presentation. The story's nothing spectacular. Dude gets a job as a night security guard at a run-down restaurant, the animatronics are haunted and try to hurt people but not all the time, the usual FNAF fare. But it's fun, it's fluff, and I'll probably watch it again in the future because I'm a sucker for this sort of thing. (Youtube: trailer)

Only 3 movies this time (and I skipped last week, too; I'm such a slacker!), in no small part because I also watched Terror Tuesday Extreme and The Fall of the House of Usher, both of which were very good horror shows. The Fall of the House of Usher, though, was far more disturbing on many levels. Typical Mike Flanagan stuff, absolutely fantastic, but holy hell was it ever an emotional ride! Terror Tuesday Extreme was tame in comparison, as the episodes were based on supposedly true stories called into a Thai radio show. Most of the story were classic horror tropes, a fun watch, but nothing on the level of Flanagan.

 Pain level - Moderate

I woke up annoyingly cold this morning; I guess the temperature dropped rather quickly last night. I sleep under a huge pile of heavy blankets (I find the weight helpful with pain management and soothing my anxious brain at times), so if I was cold enough to be curled into a ball under all of them, you know it got chilly!

I also woke up feeling decidedly queasy, which doesn't bode well. At least I didn't have any plans today, so it's not like I need to fight nausea while going out for groceries or anything. I can take it a bit easy and go slowly, so I don't make myself feel worse.

The yearly arrival of Spirit Halloween has come. I wish I had some spare cash so I could waste it all on spooky-cute knick-knacks that I definitely don't need but definitely do want. Maybe if I skip a couple of meals I can afford something fun. (Not as dire as it sounds, I promise. Sometimes I'm not that hungry, so I eat less during the day anyway. Especially when it's warm.)

Pain level - High

I'm not sure where this sudden pain spike came from, but I'm very unhappy about it. Especially considering I can't just stay home and rest today. I have to go to the pharmacy to get some of my prescriptions, because I'm completely out of my thyroid medication and nearly out of my antidepressants and my nerve pain medication isn't far behind that.

But going out means I get to stay properly medicated for the next few months, and so out I go!

Pain level - Moderate

The weather has really cooled rather suddenly. Yesterday it was approaching 30C, and today it doesn't look like it will get much higher than 20C, which is much more comfortable for me. It should be similar for the next few days, according to the Weather Network (who is, admittedly, only intermittently believable), which puts me very much in mind of approaching fall weather.

The honking of geese overhead and they start making preparations to fly south adds to the vibe.

I love autumn weather. I can't wait for the gently drizzly days and the cooler dry temperatures and the crispy joy of walking through fallen leaves. The colours that the maple leaves turn before they drop. The way the shade of blue in the sky changes in some way that I can't quite define but that signals cooling temperatures.

And, of course, pumpkin spice! I prefer pumpkin spice chai to pumpkin spice coffee, but I won't turn my nose up at either!

Pain level - High end of moderate

No update yesterday, because through a good stretch of the day there were frequent power flickers. I don't know why. There was no storm, it wasn't hotter than normal, but the power flickered off multiple times, and I didn't want to risk damage to my PC, so in the end I just left it off and didn't bother updating here.

I haven't said much about the porch plants lately, but the pea plant that I thought was done for ended up growing another stem from its base, so there's a small chance I might get another pea pod or two before the growing season is done. The tomatoes have also been ripening a lot this past week, and I've already eaten multiple little cherry tomatoes right from the vine, and there are plenty more on the way. I may still have green tomatoes left at the end, but I can try slicing and frying them, or maybe pickling them, so nothing will go to waste if I can help it.

Plus my citronella geranium things have started to flower, which was really unexpected because I hadn't read anything about them flowering! But now I have some cute new purple flowers to look at when I step outside, and that makes me smile.

Pain level - High

Oh yeah, I definitely overdid it yesterday. I didn't really have much choice, since things had to be done, but still. Of all the things that hurt, I'm surprised about my sternum. Taking a deep breath or moving my arms too much produces a painful pulling ache along the centre of my chest. Maybe because of how many boxes I moved around? I'm not sure. I expected my legs and arms to hurt, maybe my back, but I didn't expect my sternum!

Those other things hurt too, but it's the sternum that surprises me.

Well, it's not like I needed a big excuse to stay in bed, listen to chillhop, and binge Powerwash Simulator. That seems to be my go-to game for letting my mind wander while I get little dopamine hits from constantly accomplishing things.

Pain level - Moderate

This morning, when I opened my bedroom window to let fresh air in, it really felt like autumn. The air was just a bit chilly, and there was the vaguest scent of drying leaves, and it was so lovely. I enjoyed lying in bed and playing Powerwash Simulator with the almost-autumn breeze coming through the window.

Supper today was chicken souvlaki wraps. Didn't take much energy to make when the chicken skewers were already cooked and I just needed to put them on soft flatbread.

Haven't been feeling that great these past few days. I don't know why. I keep vacillating between so hot I'm dripping with sweat to breaking out in shivers and needing a blanket, even when it's really warm in the apartment. I don't have any symptoms beyond that and fatigue (and some increased pain, but that's practically an everyday occurrence anyway), so I'm pretty sure I didn't pick up a bug while I was out getting groceries or anything like that, so it's probably just part-and-parcel of my usual chronic illness crap. I'll be sure to rest a lot more during the coming week so that I can stop feeling lousy. It's not like my social life is impacted or anything, but I don't really like feeling sick. Weird, I know.

Kaali Khuhi (2020) - Centrered around the young Shivangi, whose family has temporarily moved to care for her ailing grandmother, Kaali Khuhi is all about the dark secrets of the village, their connection to a very angry ghost, and what happens when secrets refuse to stay buried. I keep encountering a lot of Hindi movies that have vengeance at their core, a desire to harm those who have done harm, and that's exactly what this movie also delivers. It deals with female infanticide, which also connects to the patriarchy and a person's perceived societal value, and I think this movie has a lot to say about India's history of those concepts, dark and distressing as they may be. Having the viewpoint be 99% on a young girl adds another layer of tension and connection to the issue, as Shivangi is one of those girls who, in another time, may have been thrown down that dark well after being born; there's a sense of rightness that she would be the one to end the curse on the village. I'm trying to be a bit vague here because it's absolutely a movie you should watch, because it's good and has a lot to say and has genuinely creepy imagery throughout. (Hindi, subtitled) (Youtube: trailer)

Men (2022) - I... I don't even know, man. This movie is a fucking trip. A woman leaves her red-flag husband and rents an old fancy British country manor for a couple of weeks to heal a bit from some serious trauma, only to be pursued by a naked man, dismissed by local police (except for a female officer), hit on by a vicar, harassed by an angry young boy, and gently mocked by her temporary landlord. Oh, and did I mention that there's a scene where all of these men give birth to each other in rapid succession because they're all the same person? How is this related to the Green Man myth that keeps popping up? Dude, I have no damn idea. This movie was a trippy piece of surrealist horror that's beautifully shot, amazingly written, masterfully acted, and yet at the end, I have no bloody clue what to actually take from it. Except that it probably reads very differently to those socialized to be male. There's a whole lot in here about what women experience in relation to men, from gaslighting, to infantalizing, to inappropriate sexual remarks and actions, and I feel like a lot of men might call it a man-hating movie, but a lot of women might say, "Yes, this is exactly what we experience!" The real-life horror often took centre stage and the supernatural elements stayed pretty firmly on the back burner until very near the end. It's an amazing movie, but disturbing as hell, and it has a lot to say. To the point where I feel like someone could write an entire dissertation on this movie and its symbolism. Highly recommended, but be warned that it's surreal as hell! (Youtube: trailer)