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[personal profile] adrimett
Pain level - Moderate

It's been bright and sunny today so I had a much better opportunity to embroider!

I learned yesterday about the concept of pluripotentialites, or people who have multiple strong interests and skillsets. Some people call them polymaths, but that's disputed because pluripotentialites may or may not end up with the same degree of skill mastery that one sees in polymaths. It really just means many strengths, and I'll be blunt: when I learned about them, I felt seen in a way I often don't feel.

For a long time I've struggled with the idea that I should pick one path to focus on in life. Disability may have thrown a bit of a wrench in the works, but I've long considered myself wishy-washy, unfocused, because I want to do so many things, learn about so many things, and life keeps telling me, "No, pick one. Maybe two, because you should have a hobby or a side-interest. But you can't remain so interested in so many things."

We define ourselves a surprising amount by our interests. Someone really into baking, even as a home project, may describe themselves as a baker. Or someone who writes a lot may call themselves a writer. But what do you call someone who's into multiple forms of visual and textile art, and also examining video game narratives, and also would love to study toward a degree in anthropology and linguistics (but can't due to finances and disability; doesn't stop me from reading and learning, though)? What do you call someone who recently added archaeology and paleontology to that massive interest list because while waiting for pain meds to kick in they started bingeing such video topics on Youtube and getting really into them? What's my definition? How do I define myself when, to a huge chunk of people, I appear to just be unfocused in an almost childish way?

So finding out that there are so many other people live me out there, people who are really thriving not in spite of their interests but because of them, and because of all of them... It made me feel less alone.

I know this comes off as a post-teenage, "I'm so special, look at me because I have soooo many interests and that's weird and special, don't you think I'm special?" But no, not really. I'm just glad to know I'm not alone in my weird way of living, and that it doesn't mean I'm messed up or childish or like I'm too stupid to just settle on one or two main skillsets like most people seem comfortable with doing. Knowing that some people find success in this way of being gives me hope that maybe I, too, find find similar success, without having to sacrifice parts of myself and my interests along the way. There's comfort in that thought.

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Adrienne Metternich

September 2024

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