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[personal profile] adrimett
Pain level - Moderate

Very chilly when I woke up this morning. It was only 10°C, which isn't the coldest morning so far, but the wind was brisk and made everything feel colder. It definitely feels like a school day, which technically it is. Schools in this area start again today. I wish I was a student again. I really miss going to school. I was doing really well at university for a while, but then my disability became too much for me to continue, so I had to leave. I regret it all the time. I wish I could have continued with my education.

Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to get a university degree, I guess. I still learn where I can, and when I'm able to, but at this point I can't afford to even do distance learning, and until something like Universal Basic Income is implemented, and until university tuition gets substantially reduced, I just can't do it. But I'll still learn things. Nothing can stop me from learning.

Autumn always makes me feel this way. It's not a new feeling. And as much as I adore this season, it always comes with a sense of melancholy that makes it bittersweet. Where might life have gone had it not been for disability? What could I be doing right now if my body wasn't making me do very little?

I'll get by. I always do. I'll find the sweet in every bitter, even if I complain at the time. I just can't help but wonder and lament, that's all.

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Adrienne Metternich

September 2024

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